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Maradona In Hospital

Friday, March 30th, 2007 at 11:40 by Matt Rhodes

The worlds greatest ever cheat footballer, Diego Maradona has been rushed to hospital.

Diego, 46 was taken to the Guemes hospital in the Argentinian capital Buenes Aires where tests are been carried out by hand.

The reasons for his trip have been put down to ‘an imbalance’ in his health and his personal doctor Aldredo Cahe said said: ‘He’s staying, he’s staying…his life is not in danger.’ He went onto to say that Diego had had problems for some time with ‘…food, (alcoholic) drinks and tobacco.’ It seems he will be staying for several days.

His two daughters, Dalma and Giannina were seen arriving at the hospital moments after the troubled star was admitted. The entire thirteenth floor has been evacuated as security guards and police were brought in to control the area. Where the patients were moved to is unclear, but I’m sure someone gave them a hand.

It has been no secret that Maradona has had health problems in the past, remember when he got all fat? This was down mainly to his dependance on cocaine which led to numerous problems. In 2000 he was hospitalised while on holiday in Uraguay with a severe heart problem. He tested positive for coke and went on to undergo rehabilitation in Cuba (was that wise?) In 2004 he spent 10 days in intensive care with high blood pressure, breathing difficulties and a lung infection but nothing wrong with his hand.

The diminutive footballing wizard is still highly regarded in his home country despite being banned from playing twice after failing drug tests. Once in 1991 and then again in the 1994 World Cup in the US. He retired from the game in 1997 but re-emerged in 2005 after having a stomach stapling operation which saw him lose 66lb and enabled him to start playing the beautiful game once more.

Since then he has played in numerous charity games and has even hosted his own television show. But his Doctor, Cahe said only days ago that Maradona had put on weight and was smoking too many cigars. Maradona is now planning a trip to Switzerland to get himself back in shape.

This news comes at a difficult time for the hand-balling, game robbing genius. Earlier this month Argentina’s central bank said they were investigating the star for alleged financial irregularities. They are looking at possible tax evasion and money laundering. A court has asked to examine every transaction he has made since 2005.

Again this is not the first time he has been in trouble. In June 2006 he was prosecuted in Italy for tax evasion and had 2 Rolex watches confiscated. It is believed that Diego has made and lost millions of dollars throughout his career which began in the late 1970’s.

He is a world footballing icon and has an almost religious following in Argentina. He is mostly remembered/hated in England for ‘The Hand Of God’ incident in the 1986 Mexico World Cup in which England were knocked out thanks to his cheeky escapades. Git.

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One Comment on “Maradona In Hospital”

  1. theo Says:

    Or should that have been ‘mit’?

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