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Bleeding Jesus

Wednesday, March 21st, 2007 at 13:03 by Eliza E. Lanyard

Wonder if the stains will come out of the carpet?

Over the last few years we’ve had toasted cheese sandwiches containing the image of the Virgin Mary, statues of Ganesh drinking milk and aubergines that had the word Allah written inside them.  The latest religious manifestation getting headlines is a bleeding portrait of Jesus owned by a man called Eric Nathaniel, who lives in the Andaman Islands. Those of you who aren’t very good at geography - like me - will be pleased to learn that these are quite remote Indian islands in the middle of the of the Indian Ocean.

Two weeks ago police radio operator Eric was surprised to see red liquid pouring down his portrait of Jesus which he kept on the wall at home. He’s quoted as saying “We lit candles and prayed all night and a little later the blood dried but it soon started trickling down from the hands and heart of another portrait in the house.”

Instead of being very frightened and running away like I would if any of the pictures I own started bleeding, he called the local priest in Port Blair, a man called John Chrysostom. John took away the portrait and pronounced it ‘’a miracle'’ and ‘’proof that Jesus was in pain because of our sins'’.

Local priests and people have not been dissuaded by the suggestion that it isn’t Jesus’s blood but red paint melting in the extreme heat and humidity and have been travelling from far and wide to come and pray at the portrait and it seems extra police will have to be drafted in to control the crowds.

Rumours of someone offering a couple of plasters to help stop the bleeding are as yet unconfirmed.

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