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Politics/Current Affairs

Immigrants asked to leave via text message.

Thursday, March 8th, 2007 at 16:00 by Howard Spencer-Mosley

Home secretary John Reid has published a paper detailing his plans to crack down on illegal immigrants. The document entitled ‘Enforcing The Rules’ features one fantastic initiative where people whose visas are about to expire are sent a text message to their mobile phones reminding them to leave the country.

Gr8!

However, as Shadow Home Secretary David ‘Killer’ Davies points out, the plan is flawed, as there exists no obligation for visitors to provide immigration officials with a phone number. Also, the Home Office won’t know if any of those who received the text have actually left as no record of departures are kept.

Wckd!

They’ll send the message and just assume they’ve all gone home, after all who wouldn’t do as a text from a stranger tells them? Last week I received one telling me to download a picture of Paris Hilton’s boobies; so I did! Well done John.

‘Enforcing The Rules’ also details a plan where 250 extra police officers would be reassigned to illegal immigrant hotspots: the Association of Chief Police Officers said “no”. Dsastr! Driving licenses would also be confiscated from those unwilling to leave but I hardly think that individuals happy to defy the British government could care less about having a license for anything.

Pwr 2 da pple!

John Reid said: “[These plans] are intended to make life in this country ever more uncomfortable and constrained for those who come here illegally”. They won’t though will they? These are mild inconveniences. I say that anyone who can’t sing all seven verses of ‘God Save The Queen’ when asked should be shot.

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3 Comments on “Immigrants asked to leave via text message.”

  1. DannyMackay Says:

    Not sure that being denied services like NHS care or housing assistance count as ‘minor inconceniences’.

    But hey, lets all focus on text messages rather than anything important. phones are fun.

  2. Stephen Ball Says:

    I could manage it if we change the National Anthem to “Land of Hope and Glory”. Otherwise I’m screwed.

    Several thousand people would prefer “Gold” by Spandau Ballet, which remains an option.

  3. howard Says:

    “inconceniences”? Sing me God Save The Queen please sir…

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