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Politics/Current Affairs

Here Comes The Ghost Of Elvis

Wednesday, March 7th, 2007 at 13:42 by Matt Rhodes

Elvis is alive and well and living in Papua New Guinea. He also wants to vote in this years national elections.

Apparently.

The problem on the South Pacific island is that of ghost voters. In 2006 almost half of the nations 4.9 million registered voters did not exist.

The electoral commission has being trying for over a year to update voter registration before the elections in June this year, but have been hampered by the remoteness of some of the voter rolls and admit that they are wildly inaccurate.

Electoral Commissioner Andrew Trawen said that there were several Elvis Presleys registered to vote alongside numerous Tom Jones’. A few kings and queens have also decided they want a say as well. In some provinces upto 132 percent of the population are registered to vote. Now I’m no mathematician but that can’t be right can it?

Trawen went on to say that some politicians were behind these phantom voters and warned that if nothing was done the commission may declare a failed election in some provinces. ‘I have assured the nation on numerous occasions that the (rock ‘n’) roll should be ready before the nation goes to the polls in June and I am steadfast on my assurance.’ I believe him.

Papua New Guinea has a population of 5.1 million most of whom live in the jungle highlands where tribal warfare, sorcery, crime and political corruption are commonplace. Becoming elected to parliament is considered a guarantee of a better life in the capital Port Moresby.

The country does not have the best of luck when it comes to elections. In 2002 political gangs in the mountainous interior killed opponents and destroyed ballot boxes which forced the commission to declare six seats null and void. This led to the shrinking of parliament to 103 seats.

I hope they sort it out. Although if sorcery is rife who’s to say that they haven’t brought a King back to life?

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One Comment on “Here Comes The Ghost Of Elvis”

  1. Darran Says:

    Was that a sly Whipping Boy reference there young man? Lovely stuff.

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