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SOS: Soldiers On Snow!

Monday, February 12th, 2007 at 17:17 by RJ Barker

Scottish newspaper, The Daily Record, has apparently uncovered video footage of members of a Scottish regiment having a blow out on coke. Which is a bit of a surprise considering Afghanistan is the current major field of operations, you’d think heroin would be cheaper, but still.

The footage, shot on a mobile phone, shows a group of young soldiers doing lines of Weasel-Dust and then stumbling around to dance music. A hitherto unforeseen use for white dress gloves. One of the soldiers can clearly be heard to say “Aw, I’m wrecked man.” The footage seems to have been passed on by a squealer another member of the regiment involved.

Obviously one not as keen on the Bolivian marching drill.

The unknown rat soldier has also said that drugs are easy to get into a barracks as soldiers themselves are not searched*. He also said, “On a Sunday or when they have a day off they know they will not be hassled by anyone, so they pretty much do their own thing.” Thing, obviously being army slang for ‘getting chalked up on merk.’

A spokesman for the army, Major Phillip Curtis, said, “We don’t know what the background to this video is.” I would suggest a toilet is likely, though a check should be made of the barracks coffee tables too. Major Curtis then went on to say, “Until the investigation has been completed it would be improper to make any assertions. However we do need to view all the evidence.”

And confiscate the whole regiments credit cards if they have any sense.

To be honest, I’ve watched footage of American soldiers in combat and with all the whooping and gung-hoing I thought coke was de-rigueur for the worlds most advanced combat forces. Seems I’m wrong. Soldiers on coke is a very bad thing. RAF and US Pilots on speed? That’s an entirely different, alleged, kettle of fish^.

David Cameron was unavailable for comment, probably.

*I’m sure that’ll light up the ideas men at Al-Qeada.
^ Auntie Beeb says…

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