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Nitrous Oxide Claims First Life

Monday, February 5th, 2007 at 13:16 by Howard Spencer-Mosley

Another “young person” has died after taking an overdose of recreational drugs. This was not funny. The only person laughing was the chap himself. He giggled his tits off. To death.

Daniel Watts, a 23 year old promotions director, overdosed on Nitrous Oxide - also known as “hippie crack” (to the happy slapping bunch) or indeed “laughing gas”. He was discovered at his home in Birmingham with a plastic bag wrapped tightly around his head (always fun) and a canister of NO2 nearby.

The use of the gas as a drug has increased recently, as too has it’s availability, with certain nightclubs and pubs offering it to party-goers in balloons for just a couple of quid. The gas, which is used in hospitals to ease the pain of childbirth, supplies the user with a short euphoric feeling meaning it is cheaper than heroin and you get a pretty balloon. Oh, and it’s completely legal.

London nightclub “Turnmills” even has it’s own ‘laughing room’ where revellers can inhale the gas and err… laugh. In a room. However, Donald Singer, professor of clinical pharmacology at the University of Warwick, has condemned such businesses, claiming that overexposure to Nitrous Oxide can lead to “degradation of the spine”. There’s something wonderfully apt about such a diagnosis.

[ Insert your own ’spineless’ jokes here ]

There are also a host of internet sites that will supply the drug and some even offer delivery to your door around the clock. If my backward ‘traditional’ schooling was correct and NO2 is lighter than air, then imagine the potential: huge zeppelins floating over head, lowering tubes down through the sky and straight into the mouths of idiots.

“Suckle my children, suckle! Laugh, and all will be well! Ha ha ha!” screams the evil GasMan™.

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One Comment on “Nitrous Oxide Claims First Life”

  1. theo Says:

    Adds a new dimension to BYOB. eh ! geddid ? Hahahahah.. argh!

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