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England Still Losing In Oz

Wednesday, January 3rd, 2007 at 12:34 by Matt Freeman

Those of you that follow these things (and I know there are some of you) will know that England haven’t exactly been doing so well in the cricket this winter. Something to do with playing injured players, not preparing properly, and the little matter of the Australians being the best in the world. Australians may insert smug grins and so forth at this stage.

At the time of writing, it can be confirmed that from what looked like a reasonable position of 238-4 England did their now traditional and expected duty and collapsed to 291 all out. For those learning the game, this is not very good. To provide some context, batsmen occasionally score 100 runs all by themselves, so taking eleven men to score 291 is pretty poor, frankly.

The Australians, being the kind hearted, compassionate, non-competitive types they are* have clocked 155-4 in return before the days play was stopped for rain.

To recap in total - the Australians are 4-0 up in a best of five series. The English are not merely having salt rubbed in their wounds, the Aussies have hired a special team of champion salt-rubbers, skilled in the art, to make sure that each and every wound has as much salt rubbed into it as humanly possible and as space allows.

Message to English cricketing types - if you’re going to take the Ashes off the Aussies, make damn sure that when you go back down to their patch you know what the heck you’re doing!

*Yes, that was sarcasm.

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