Four gang members serving time in an El Salvador maximum-security jail have been caught orchestrating crimes using cellular technology they kept stored up their rectums.
The men are all members of the notoriously violent Mara Salvatrucha gang who have connections across Central America and into North America. They were able to co-ordinate many crimes on the outside including robberies, blackmail and murder.
Following an extensive investigation, the equipment was found in their persons after an x-ray. They were carrying phones, spare chips and a charger. There obviously wasn’t much call for a hands-free set. They had managed to insert the gear as far up as their intestines to avoid naked-eye inspections.
Suspicion could have been aroused if the guards heard the Nokia theme tune coming from the showers. They later realised the prisoners weren’t sodomising each other but attempting to switch the phone to silent mode. Or, better yet, vibrate.
‘The reception was always shitty, anyway,’ the prisoners might have complained.