After George Bush declared the presence of secret CIA prisons around the World, the European Commission have demanded to know their locations.

Bush disclosed ‘the biggest secret that everyone already knew’ saying, “Everybody knows that, but I’m now formally announcing it.” I bet that’s a load off and he’ll be able to sleep better at night now.

The problem with the declaration is that it now adds a little more weight to a Washington Post article that claimed these secret jails are hives of torture and anti-humanitarian degradation. So be it - you might think - if the victims prisoners are responsible for mass murder but, let us remember, the US don’t have an incredibly good track record of always getting the right man.

Bush, of course, flatly denied the accusations with a resolute, “The United States does not torture. It’s against our laws, and it’s against our values. I have not authorized it, and I will not authorize it.” Hence why any alleged torturing probably happens on foreign soil and is possibly authorised by a man who was authorised by someone else who got a subtle wink from Bush. Alternatively, he might just be lying but that’s not very likely.

So the Council of Europe and European Parliament are eager to discover and quash these Geneva-Convention-contravening dens of iniquity and are hoping that a healthy dose of finger pointing will unmask the offenders.

So Greece, Poland and Romania all stand there looking shocked and a bit hurt as the digit of guilt turns their way, but they all plead innocence. Even after the EU say, ‘Are you sure you don’t have any Secret CIA Prisons of Torture?’

Then they answer, ‘We absolutely, positively, really really really don’t have any.’

‘…That we are aware of.’

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Keywords: CIA, European Commission, European Parliament, Geneva Convention, George Bush, Greece, Poland, Prison, Romania, Torture, Washington Post