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No Smoking Signs Switched Off: Permanently :: The Slant / UK News
 
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Politics/Current Affairs, Business/Finance

No Smoking Signs Switched Off: Permanently

Tuesday, September 5th, 2006 at 10:18 by Jon Smith

In a bold move which very much sticks two yellowed fingers up at convention, public opinion and current legislation, Alexander Schoppmann, a 30-a-day addict and creator of Smokers‚?? International Airways or Smintair is planning to fill the skies with Jumbo Jets full of smoking Japanese and Germans business passengers.

No longer will you have to cram six cigs down your lungs between Duty Free and Gate 21. No more nicotine patches on your temples or sneaking off to the bogs for a crafty puff. Oh no. If Smintair‚??s plans don‚??t go up in smoke then there‚??s going to deep inhales around the world as more and more planes take to the sky that will allow and positively encourage a high-altitude chong.

The catch? Well, planes aren‚??t cheap, so, Smintair are currently on the lookout for investors who share in this passion for mile-high smog and with shares modestly priced at 500,000Euros each, I can see a quick resolution to this small funding issue. Smintair promise cleaner air for passengers than is currently enjoyed on non-smoking flights‚?¶work that one out?

The first route, scheduled to launch in spring 2007 will be between Germany and Japan; assuming the venture is a success they plan to expand until every smoker is able to enjoy their god-given right to poison their lungs at whatever altitude they see fit.

Personally, I wonder how successful the venture might be given that passengers are no longer permitted lighters or matches on board planes ‚?? maybe if you rub two in-flight bread rolls together for long enough you might get a spark somewhere over Thailand?

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One Comment on “No Smoking Signs Switched Off: Permanently”

  1. Rhys Wilcox Says:

    Maybe all the seats will have pop-out car lighters?

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