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Blair Plans To Genetically Modify Trouble Makers Before Birth

Friday, September 1st, 2006 at 12:08 by Simon Kimber

We have wondered for some time if, behind closed doors, Tony Blair is in fact a crazed, cackling, insane, evil lunatic intent on world domination and only allowed out in public once the tranquilisers have kicked in.

So far we have only had his increasingly crazed appearance to support these beliefs, but now at last he’s given it away.  Comments in a BBC interview this morning let slip the beginnings of a plan to create a genetically engineered master race of perfect Blairites.

In a discussion on dealing with problem teenagers Blair spoke of a need for the government to intervene “much earlier”.  When asked how much earlier he responded with an ominous “Pre-birth, even” and a manic glint in his eye.  Only the framing of the camera shot prevented viewers from seeing the white persian he was stroking on his lap.

“If we are not prepared to predict and intervene far more early then there are children that are going to grow up in families that we know perfectly well are completely dysfunctional, and the kids a few years down the line are going to be a menace to society and actually a threat to themselves,” he said, shortly before having the interviewer strapped down in front of a large circular saw.

A political think tank commented that Blairs suggestions were on the verge of “genetic determinism” by labelling children as problematic before they have even been born, while Oliver Letwin, the Conservative policy director, said “The answer is not more state intervention” and the government should be trying “to help people without trying to run their lives for them”.

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One Comment on “Blair Plans To Genetically Modify Trouble Makers Before Birth”

  1. Rhys Wilcox Says:

    I say, ‘Yay!’ It’s about time Blair became more proactive about these sort of things. All you liberal lefties keep whinging about ‘chavs’ but never have a solution for what to do about them. Cut them off at the source!

    Now Blair just needs to be a bit retroactive too and introduce state legaslative abortion up to the age of 25.

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