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Ryanair Say Yes To Mobiles On Flights

Wednesday, August 30th, 2006 at 20:11 by Simon Kimber

There’s nothing worse, when starting off your well deserved holiday, than finding yourself trapped on a plane with screaming kids for several long hours.  At least there was nothing worse before Ryanair decided that the screaming kids will soon also be allowed to bring their mobiles with them.

An all too short period of peace and quiet still remains for air travellers, but by 2008 Ryanair, having partnered with communications company OnAir, plan to have the necessary equipment to enable in-flight mobile phone usage installed on their entire fleet of over 200 Boeing 737s.

After that don’t expect to fly anywhere without finding yourself stuck next to an illiterate chav grunting into its Nokia at its mates in between texting them bizarre nonsensical combinations of letters and numbers and receiving replies that trigger the latest chart “hits” at ear splitting volume.

Ryanair’s chief executive, Michael O’Leary, described the forthcoming service as “Revolutionary”, carefully avoiding the use of terms such as “Annoying”, “Irritating”, “Noisy” and “Increased chances of violent mobile phone bodily insertion incidents”.

The threat of terrorism is fast becoming the number one reason people choose not to fly.  The number two position is going to be claimed very very soon.


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One Comment on “Ryanair Say Yes To Mobiles On Flights”

  1. Sarah Malaise Says:

    What a shame plane windows don’t open. I will never forget the moment, about five years ago on a train between Brighton and Littlehampton, when one of my fellow passengers decided he’d had enough of the annoying group of children testing out the different ringtones on a Nokia 3210. He strode down the aisle, loomed over them imposingly and growled “It’s a mobile phone, not a f*ck*ng juke box! Do you think it will still play that tune if I chuck it outside?”

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