October 20th
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Reward Offered for Finding Elvis Presley Alive

Sunday, August 20th, 2006 at 16:40 by Sarah Malaise

If you’ve always thought there was something a little familiar about the way your dentist styles his quiff, or the driver of the number 72 bus wears his blue suede shoes, then now could be the time to cash in. Enterprising film producer Adam Muskiewicz is offering a $3million reward, via the website Elvis Wanted to the person who finds Elvis Presley alive.

The website has been set up to promte Muskiewicz’s documentary exploring the myth that The King is not dead. The film will be released next summer to coincide with the thirtieth anniversary. Muskiewicz claims that around a quarter of the “countelss” fans he has interviewed are convinced that it was all a hoax, citing inconsistencies from the suspicious behaviour of medical and autopsy staff, to the misspelling of Elvis’ middle name on his tombstone.

“You don’t have to be an expert to see there were procedural questions: why was the funeral so fast? Things were sealed and people went quiet,” he said.

The reward offer is backed up by William Hill, who quote odds of 1000-1 on the notorious comedy bet. Spokesperson Graham Sharpe was quick to point out in a Reuters interview that if still living, Elvis would not be the snake-hipped spandex rock-god fans remember, but a man in his seventies. The bookies are hoping that Elvis would deny his identity in the event of being found.

A fact often ignored by the foolish nostagics who report new sightings in the frozen pea aisle of their local Tesco’s every other week is that Elvis would have had to have undergone a radical change of image in order to escape detection for the past twenty-nine years. He’s probably a hairdresser called Shirley now, or maybe a grumpy and impoverished web journalist living in the north of England. Uh-huh huh. Now where did I leave that hamburger?

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2 Comments on “Reward Offered for Finding Elvis Presley Alive”

  1. Alice Bagoyo Says:

    After all these years, why bother. If he is alive and in hiding, leave him alone. He deserve’s a normal life like the rest of us. He blessed us with his music, we have wonderful memories.

  2. Allanna Says:

    I agree with alice if he was alive so what ovesley he wanted it for a reason and you people are only making it harder for his familey expexially his daughter lisa i mean some on shes been through anough as a child and like elvis needs some peace and quit he’s not alive give it it arest you all are jsut doing it becasue you got nothing better to write about

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