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Arts/Entertainment

Pete Wins Big Brother 7

Sunday, August 20th, 2006 at 20:52 by Sarah Malaise

The lines have closed, the votes have been counted and verified and Channel 4 have scored another winner. Over twelve million votes were cast in this year’s Big Brother final with an estimated eight million of us apparently having nothing better do on Friday night than watch a heavily pregnant Davina McCall struggle to keep order as the six remaining lunatics finally escaped their prime time asylum.

Predictably, bleach blond Tourette’s sufferer Pete Bennett took the £100 000 prize and Welsh schoolboy lifeguard Glyn Wise, who began the competition looking like a prepubescent David Hasselhof and won hearts with his inability even to boil an egg, was the runner up. Pete’s volatile love interest, poison dwarf Nikki Grahame, finished fifth having re-entered the house a month after being evicted - a twist which could end up costing Endemol £3million if viewers’ complaints to phone watchdog ICSTIS are upheld.

Pete’s winning strategy was to approach the contest as though it was a 1980s beauty pageant. During his thirteen week stay he developed a reputation for unprecedented acts of kindness to dumb animals, but apart from his relationship with Nikki he was also renowned for rescuing bees and moths from the swimming pool. Everyone inside the house and probably several thousand outside fell in love with him, and he enhanced his Miss World credentials by dedicating his victory and pledging his prize money to his mum.

Perhaps he was unaware that she had already cashed in on his popularity and sold their story to the tabloids, however as his band, psychedelic rockers Daddy Fantastic, are rumoured to be the subject of a bidding war to be offered a £1million record deal, he is unlikely to be out of pocket for long.

Pete’s housemates included an alleged former girlfriend of Mike Tyson, a close friend of Princess Beatrice, a self-confessed sexual terrorist and the proud owner of “Britain’s Biggest Breasts”. No doubt auditions for an equally representative group of housemates for next year’s series of the fascinating “reality” show will be taking place soon.

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