Thousands of pupils received their A-level results today, and amazingly the UK seems to be getting more intelligent than ever!
In the spirit of the occasion, the rest of this article will be multiple choice:
1) The Government denies that¬†the tests¬†are getting easier.
a) Of course they do.
b) University tutors who can’t get their first-years to understand the course and¬†complain that the new¬†crowd know less¬†than¬†previous GCSE students, seem to disagree.
c) Yes, but this Government made Ruth Kelly Education minister, so anything’s possible.
d) They then made¬†her (a member¬†of¬†an ultra-strict, ultra-conservative Catholic sect) the person who liases with the Muslim community, so do you really think they’re going to take any notice of the fact that Alan Johnson is rubbish and should resign?
2) It is quite sensible to have students failing to get into University because they only¬†achieved three¬†A’s and a B, since any non-’A’ grade is academic death.
3)¬†We need to bring in an A* grade because:
a) We actually need to bring in five A-grades, called A-A, A-B, A-C and so on.
b) Look, education is improving and we’re meeting all our targets! Ignore these inconvenient details such as teaching only to pass tests and the fact the exams are getting easier.
c) But this amp goes up to 11.
“Will Alan Johnson be rated an “F” by the National Union of Teachers, as Ruth Kelly was?”
“Will the government heed the calls for a total reform of A-levels before A*’s get awarded at 30%?”
“Am I sick that I worked that hard for some C’s and D’s?” …Actually, that last one I can definitely answer.